Metal Detecting Videos

Taking Umbrage

I’ve been under the weather lately and as a result don’t have a blog for your delight and delectation. Instead I am going to repeat a post that garnered a lot of attention at the time and had over 40 comments. Apologies to my regular subscribers who will have read this before but maybe you will enjoy it second time around. It will be new to some …

WARNING – Don’t read any further if you can’t laugh at yourself
If you are an easily offended detectorist/videographer with a recent humourdectomy operation, I suggest that you give this blog a miss … make a coffee, have a spliff, go fishing or summat.

Does anyone agree with me that 95% of videos made by detectorists whilst on a dig are crap and not worth watching? They fail to engage with the audience. Gone are the times when a day’s detecting meant carrying no more than a machine of your choice, a spade and wearing sturdy boots.

Today, it is essential that you kit yourself out like a budding documentary maker and record every button and buckle for your legion of followers to drool over. Make your bliddy mind up. Are you a metal detectorist or a videographer?

Hi Y’all!

I especially dislike the ones with a five minute professionally produced introduction with letters flying everywhere, slick graphics, and stirring music followed by an amateurish and boring record of a typical day out detecting. Before I boycotted all such videos, I was rather surprised that very few I did watch had no plot, no reason for existing, no entertainment value and were a complete waste of my time … except for the likes of Minelab Mal and the blonde American cash cow Diggin’ Britt who manages to reveal all whilst finding nothing! But reasonable entertainment if you like that sort of thing. She has over 197K subscribers and for those willing she charges mega bucks month for ‘special’ videos. She’s not daft. “Hi y’all”. I’m sure that you can find the link yourself. AWESOME.

Brittany- Courtesy of MDwriter

Typical Production

A TYPICAL DETECTORIST PRODUCTION has an inaudible ‘commentary’ or a screeching and moaning of wind down the microphone often accompanied by shaky, nausea-inducing footage. Or both. If you listen carefully you might just catch the hapless detectorist apologising for his/her inadequate production.

If you are thinking about going down this road, let me give you some advice. Don’t forget to foster a gimmick. YOU are more important than the metal detecting, which tends to get in the way. Always act as though you are sixpence short of a shilling, practice making gurning faces in front of a mirror and talk in a funny voice. Failing that, always wear a distinctive hat or unusual apparel like loud shirts (or no shirt) and brightly coloured over-sized glasses. Go on – make a spectacle of yourself! Acting normal won’t make you an Internet sensation. Doing ALL of those things will ensure that you go viral in no time at all!

In retrospect, wished I’d trImmed my beard. PICTURE EXECUTED by IAN MURRAY

This picture is included so that people who are easily offended can print it out, stick it on the door and use to practice their skill at throwing darts!

The Small Print

I prefaced this outburst by talking about most of the videos I have seen. But there are some (very few) out there that are worth watching. Productions by established detectorists who have real knowledge to share can be very useful. They KNOW what they are talking about and are a great help to newcomers to the hobby. Alas. You will have to learn how to discriminate and watch a load of crap before you find the treasure. Bit like metal detecting, really! 


Some of the Comments Left Earlier

The first is from videographer David Frew – Ha ha. Brilliant again John! Got to love ya! Keep it up. This sums up most of my vids lol. Although I have dropped the title intro and music, as I too began to find them onerous. But it’s fun to do and some people like them. It’s a very easy choice, watch or don’t watch. Take care and best wishes .

You couldn’t have said it better other than to add it helps to be female, attractive and be able to giggle. PS: Do you know if Britt accepts Master Card? I’m Curious. Who was the first tekkie to take videos of their “in the field” experiences? I mean who was it that decided others would want to watch “them” dig a coin, button, whatever? Kinda pretentious wouldn’t you say? Dick Stout.

The trouble is some folks have a need to be loved and noticed. They also want to show the world how clever they are by drawing attention to themselves. Of course there are some good professional videos out there and we can all learn something from watching them. Keep up the good work – From the venerable Jerry Morris.

Oh how true John. I am much like yourself in disliking most of the video rubbish which is pouring out. Some of the guys I associate with who turn to this attention seeking dilemma will vouch for how I am straight to the point and ask them why do they have to waste their time turning out such piffle which is immediately recognised by the more experienced detecting brethren as having no informative value to neither the more knowledgeable or the ne starters. When I go on the field I would rather portray myself as an old fashioned metal detectorist and not a make believe film star, I much prefer keeping a low profile. - Ace detectorist Randy Dee

Self important, self opinionated …. ‘”Hey look at me i made a video”. Yep you summed it up nicely once Thanks for a decent read. – Mungo

Nothing wrong with Joe Soap getting his 5 minutes of fame. Hurts nobody even if the fame is in his own eyes and mind only. Sure enough most videos are crap but so are most blogs [cough].
I do think it’s best to let the pretty women make metal detecting videos just to add that bit of encouragement to take part in the hobby
Frank

Thanks mate, it is about time someone spoke up about this garbage. I once commented on a metal detecting forum about this very subject and was met by a very stony silence. Well at least I didn’t get abused. – Ray Hambo

Another Videographer’s viewsHad a good giggle and printed out the photo to keep the kids from the fire .🙂 As usual your observations do create a narration and interest. Keep it up. Minelab Mal

I couldn’t agree with you more John! Most are poorly executed in respect to sound control and those that last for 20 minutes could be edited down to 5 minutes. The number of videos that appear across a range of groups by individuals who never post in a normal fashion are to say the least annoying. Is it a money reward or just a personal ego I don’t know, but what I do know is that a large amount proves that they will never become a Cecil B. DeMillePaul Mower


4 thoughts on “Metal Detecting Videos

  1. Thank you, jazzicle. Pleased that you liked it., . . . feeling much better now.

    Stephen Grey said,:
    “Please subscribe to my channel so you can look at me gurning whilst being blown in the wind” 🤣

    I liked that!

    Like

    1. Yes, yes and yes, and while we’re having a rant, bloody gold dances what the hell is that all about, clod shots, please I know where you found it, so stop it, and dickheads baying “hammmmerreeed” like a rutting stag across the field, just save it till tea break and show us then, arrrrrrrrg.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for your comment, Dave. You didn’t mention pictures of abandoned detectors looking ever so lonely stuck in the field, resting on a spade. Why do people think this makes a good picture? Even with the addition of a rainbow, it’s still unimaginative crap.

    Like

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